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華緒璃
曖昧に流す程大人ではなくて。
無邪気に付き纏う程子供ではない。 どこを見ても世界は悲しいくらい透き通っていて。 だからこそ愛しくてたまらない。 フォロー中のブログ
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i feel like im always in love with my past.
the only way you see the clean side is to go somewhere too far to reach it. what if you can sneak in a kaleidoscope? youll probably get freaked out and beg god to let you out from there. thats one reason im scared to leave where i am. once it becomes unreachable again, its not only you who is gonna cry. i cannot stand either of us crying anymore. i honestly dont see or expect any future between us. whenever i say "bye", i really do mean it. i wont regret anything we did even if we never get to see each other anymore (even though i will cry for the longest time). if there is one who says "goodnight" instead of "good bye," its not you but me this time. it is just that we got suspended sentence after all. but we both know that someday some time soon either of us is going to repeat the same crime. the history is layered instead of placed next to each other. at some point, you notice that its getting way too thick and heavy... i wish hot water melted mine down. #
by escape_fromCLYDE
| 2009-07-19 18:58
| 戯言
自分勝手にしか見えなかった行動が、愛情だったと気づく瞬間。
感情が入り組んで、模様を作る。 綺麗な完成図が手に入らないことを知っていても、惹かれてしまう。 そこに理屈は求めたくない。 昔のあたしは、どれだけ盲目だったんだろう。 階段がどこに続くのかを、鰐が何で作られているかを、考える余裕すら無かった。 #
by escape_fromCLYDE
| 2009-05-05 18:19
| 戯言
「こんなに小さかったっけ?」
同じ言葉を言わないで、とは言えなかった。 だから笑って、うるさい、とだけ言った。 「君がどうやって話すかを忘れてたよ。」 あたしが照れて顔を隠すと、彼は、追う様に「君がどうやって顔を隠すかを忘れてたよ。」と付け足した。 その言葉で、あたしは自分がどうだったかを、少しだけ思い出した。 「僕は弱い」 「だけど、君はもっと弱い」 強い女の子が好きなはずの彼は、そう言いながらあたしを嫌というほど甘やかした。 あたしが泣かなかったのは。 あたしが強いからでも、悲しくなかったからでもない。 ありがとう。 彼があたしを救ってくれた様に、あたしが彼を救ってあげられたら良い。 #
by escape_fromCLYDE
| 2009-05-04 13:44
| 戯言
he donated a painting on a wood to the prop today.
a painting which was supposed to be owned by his ex-girlfriend from long time ago. the wood piece was cracked and the color was faded. it was painted by his friend who passed away while ago he told me. feelings slowly die after awhile. he told me that he once dated with this girl looked just like faye dunaway. their ash becomes memory. bonnie is not even in china town anymore. i didnt wanna go to the place because i knew it still hurts even after a year has passed. after a sup of beer, after a swallow of a capsule, i eventually fell asleep. i felt myself sinking in the couch. "its time for you to sit down" you spoke to me once again in my mind. i used to feel so secure in your arms, or on your back. you kissed and told me that i was beautiful when i cried saying that i was ugly and dirty. when my friend got me a blanket on 3 a.m., i felt you kissing me good night. #
by escape_fromCLYDE
| 2009-04-21 12:15
| 戯言
in the darkness, what she felt was the past and the present gathering together. she knew that there was no way she could reach the next morning before she squeezed and pushed it back so it falls from the edge of her skepticism. feelings and fate. when those two words hit on the ground and made a loud crushing sound, she saw a sparkle of the doomsday. the crime called innocence stuck in the throat pulls her back to the doomed season. from the pieces, she picked up the days she smiled and laughed. innocence, ignorance, and then, a little gasp. throwing them into the air, catching them, then flipping them over. their wrong sides are sealed with silver paint. knowing what it means, she started juxtaposing them. the colored side up, the sealed side up. she found that she could not hide the scratches in either way. "he didnt talk to the moth because he was ugly" once she concluded. night moths in europe do not have the colorful wings as the moths fly in days in costa rica. everything is simple. her mumble woke up the paper city finally. between the cars slowly starting to move, her pieces reflected the headlights, and they were no longer distinguishable.
#
by escape_fromCLYDE
| 2009-04-06 17:31
| 戯言
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